I Blame You: "Melissa"

ince I began, well, studying these dreams I've wanted the drawings to be a part of it all, but I have been happy with only a few. All the others were just reminders that I never learned to draw. I wasn't taught and I had no interest in even trying - until now! Browsing through books, trying to find a suitable model for my crow, I remembered The Book of Kells. I mean, if 'Macbeth' is figuring in this somehow why not let Celtic art inspire my drawings? It just feels right. So, I will stick to black and white for the sake of convenience even if this means it is not technically an illuminated manuscript. I like it. It feels right.

So, anyway ...

Last night's dream was rather short all in all. I was at the warehouse once again, outside, looking at the roses when I heard a child singing very happily - not something I expected to hear around this place! When I walked around the building and looked up the street I saw that wonderful blue carousel horse riding the wind while a little girl stood on its back perfectly at ease! The sun shone behind her, dancing off her wheat-colored hair, caressing those waves.

The child wore a top and skirt in ultramarine blue (my favorite) with white nautical stripes. Her shoes were little red sneakers. Her arms were raised at her sides to shoulder level and I saw the crow, my crow, perched on her hand, silhouetted against the sun. (Who is this crow that a Faery Queen and a singing child can hold him?)

The crow saw me and flew to me. Something in his beak caught the sunlight and a beam of light danced toward me as he flew. Very sweetly he perched on my shoulder and dropped the object into my upraised hand. I gasped, "It is beautiful," and he gurgled in my ear and did a little two-step, ruffling my hair.

I have heard that crows like 'bright, shiny objects,' but this was a unique piece of work - a horse cut out of a discarded pie plate! Seriously, I think this unknown little girl must have found an aluminum pie plate in the trash somewhere and decided to cut a horse out of it. How or why she did it I would love to know. She must be fascinating. This tells me something about my crow and I find him more and more endearing.

When I thanked him for the gift I told him, too, "I blame you for all the beauty in my life. First the card, now this -" He bobbed so joyfully I could almost think him a bird of paradise.

I don't seem any closer to understanding all these elements, however certain I am that they mean something. The beautiful carousel horse is back and brings me a new element - two new elements: the girl and the metal horse.

My crow is always present in these dreams and somehow I trust him and I trust where he leads me in this labyrinth of symbols. I have been reading 'Macbeth' hoping to figure out how it relates to all of this. "Double, double, toil and trouble" must be a part of it since he urged me to stir up the river, but I'm not sure why. Does he consider me a 'witch,' one of the three Weird Sisters? I am only one woman if that is the case. Who are the others?

I don't think of the witches in 'Macbeth' as witches, either - not cackling, curse-throwing hags. I think maybe they are just women who were especially attuned to Nature, and human nature, wise in those ways. Maybe they were noted for their wisdom or their 'big medicine' in the manner of Native American seers or shamans?

If my crow really considers me to be a woman like that, who are the others? What gave him the idea I belong with them?